Estimated reading time 3:29
Step 1: Re-examine your goals. Why on earth are you looking for Roy Moore?
Step 2: See above.
On second thought, there can be 3 possible reasons you may be looking for Roy Moore:
1) You’re a parent of a 14-year-old girl. If you’re a parent, look out for that eternal creep lurking around in your local mall and keep a sharp eye out for any changes in the sex-offenders list.
2) You’re a political junkie, of conservative persuasions. If, for some unfathomable reason you’re a political junkie, it depends on your ideological persuasion. It appears that if you’re an Evangelical Christian who cherishes family values, you should be defending Roy Moore with every drop of religious zeal you can muster and seek out your latest and greatest defense ammunition on Fox News and The Rush Limbaugh Show. You’ll learn all about Fake News and that the only sex scandals that really matter are those that involve the Clintons or any other Democrat.
3) You’re a political junkie, of non-conservative persuasions. If you’re a liberal, or a Salon Conservative, you’re sure to find the latest outrageous allegations of pedophilia against Roy Moore at your favorite news outlets.
But no one sets out to find Roy Moore in the pages of the Oxford English Dictionary.
Even I who met him there only did so completely by chance. In fact, I’d be a whole lot happier had I never bumped into him in the first place.
I didn’t always hate politics. Until fairly recently I lived and breathed politics. But all that changed the day it became apparent that Donald Trump had secured the nomination for the Republican Party. Trump’s rise to the top made me reconsider my involvement in politics. I questioned whether such a vile enterprise deserved my passion — or even my attention. So I focused my interests on more intelligent and wholesome subjects, ones that didn’t trigger my ire and indignation a mere five minutes in. I still check out my favorite political commentators once in a while, like Jonah Goldberg, Ben Shapiro and Allahpundit, but I keep a healthy distance; I don’t get all caught up in the heat.
I soon rediscovered the fact that I truly enjoy good literature, particularly of the longform nonfiction sort. I immersed myself in various different subjects, from the history of media to the discovery of the Cairo Genizah.
A few weeks ago, as I was perusing the New Books section in my local library, a title caught my eye: The Word Detective: Searching for the Meaning of it All at the Oxford English Dictionary, a memoir from the chief editor of the OED, John Simpson. This piqued my interest as I had just come off of devouring the entire Sherlock Holmes canon by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, and a new book, From Holmes to Sherlock, an interesting work that traces the evolution of the fictional character based on Doyle’s mentor into the universally recognized iconic super-detective. So a real-life literary Sherlock Holmes sounded something straight up my alley.
It did turn out to be a fascinating read, especially since the author gives some solid suggestions for further reading. His most recommended book is Reading the OED: One Man, One Year, 21, 730 Pages, an account by Ammon Shea, a guy strange enough to read through all 20 volumes of the OED and write a book about the experience. The book is thoroughly enjoyable; the author singles out the words that interested him the most while giving an entertaining account of getting through the dictionary. I found myself laughing out loud at almost every page. I relished the feeling of being completely immersed in the world of words and the history of the English language, utterly oblivious to the unraveling of the civil society, as both major political parties hedged on whether to support or denounce serial sex offenders. I couldn’t be happier to be so uninvolved.
Until I reached the word Misdevout: (adj.) Devout in an inappropriate way. Without meaning to, my mind walked straight up to Roy Moore and showed him the word.
But then, something strange happened. The next word on the list was Miskissing: (n.) Kissing that is wrong. Okay. This is getting really weird.
As if that weren’t enough, following close on the heels of misdevout and miskissing was Mislove: (v.) To love in a sinful manner. By now I was totally freaked out. Can Roy Moore please get out of my totally-non-politics-related reading experience? How does politics manage to mess everything up?
But that isn’t all. Flip back a couple of pages and you’ll find Mawworm: (n.) A hypocrite with pretentions of sanctity. Well, that sort of succinctly describes the entire circus of Roy Moore wagon-circlers pretty well, doesn’t it?
Oh, and one more thing. Fast forward a few pages and you’ll meet Trumpery: (adj.) Showy but worthless, or delusive or shallow.
Happy politicking.
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